God is Like the Pockets on my Rocker

"A privilege of which we are unworthy." These words echoed in my ears as we continued with the celebration of the Mass. They were spoken in the homily in reference to the Gospel reading of the Centurion who came to Jesus asking him to heal his servant. As Jesus turned to go to the servant the Centurion said, "Lord, I am not worthy for you to come under my roof, but just say the word, and my servant will be healed." It is these very words that bring us the pre-communion acclamation, "Lord, I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word and I shall be healed."

Jesus is so powerful and the faith of the Centurion so strong that he truly understood that Jesus' word alone was more powerful than our comprehension. How different would our world be, how different would our lives be, if we had this faith?

It may sound old school Catholic to beat my chest and say I am unworthy . . . but there is a truth in the reality of our unworthiness. I am a sinner, and to claim different would make me a hypocrite. There is, however, a beauty in this truth. Imagine a being, so loving that even though I fail I am still loved. This is God.

Many people believe in the misconception of the holiness that accompanies religious life. Yes, I am choosing this path because I desire to lead a holy life, but that does not mean that I am any good at it! I have had countless people ask for my prayers because, and I quote, I am "closer to God." This is Bologna! Sorry to burst your bubble, but becoming a sister doesn't make me any closer to God. I truly believe we are all traveling through our lives at the exact same distance from God as every other person with whom we share this planet. The difference in my life is simply that I've recognized the presence of God.

As I was contemplating what I was going to share this evening I noticed for the first time that the padded rocker in my room has pockets on it, just because I didn't see them before doesn't mean they weren't there . . . I was just unaware of them! Now that I realize they exist I am going to use them, put stuff in them, hid things, put them to good use!

God is like the pockets on my rocker! Always there but sometimes ignored. I can only make good use of them when I recognize 1) that they are there and 2) what they are good for!

I have to remind myself daily that God is there for me! Sometimes I fail, sometimes I forget prayer, disengage from my spiritual self, and sometimes I even disappoint myself. But all I have to do is realize my unworthiness and understand the full power of God's love . . . to be honest . . . while we may fail, God doesn't care, God only loves.

And so, I may be on the path to enter into religious life, but that does not make me any holier than the next! But my yes to the particular path that God is at present calling me to simply makes me more aware.