Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Either Way The Spirit is in it All

"Drop your nets and follow me."

I wonder if there was a time when that's all one needed to hear. I think of my own story, the doubt, the struggles, the excitement, the desire to say yes but inability to speak it, the tug-o-war with my emotions, saying yes and changing my mind, saying yes and jumping in . . .

If ever there was a moment when I simply "dropped my net and followed" it was last year when I finally made the decision to follow this call--or as I sometimes think of it--whisper, cause let's face it, God's not as blunt in the 21st Century as in biblical times! Yet even after saying yes it wasn't as simple as dropping the net and going, there is a whole "process" involved in entering religious life these days that simply did not exist 50 years ago.

Sitting around the dinner table the sisters here share stories of entering. Sometimes I smile, sometimes I cringe, often though I find that our experiences are quite different. Sometimes I'm jealous of their process, and sometimes I'm thankful I do not have to experience it that way. But whether over-processed or under-processed I believe the Holy Spirit is in it all! And that's the more important part of the story!

There are plenty of decisions I made quickly and easily, others took years of over processing to discover an answer, but through both ways I believe God has lead me to this very place in time. And that's the beauty of our God, sometimes we need the "processing" and sometimes we need to just "jump in." Either way our God is patient through all our doubts and excitements, hopes and uncertainties.

So, while I have come to abhor the word "process" and try in all instances to replace it with "journey," there are times I can recognize the goodness of the experience, and realize that I more fully understand myself because of it all!

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